V-Day:Not a Holiday

What is the deal this year with the “Valentine’s Day Season” attitude all of the retailers have taken? Is the recession still so effing bad that we now are trying to sell a Season for Love? *gag me with a spoon*

Let’s take a look at the elements of a holiday – oh, there’s just one – you don’t have to go to work on a holiday. Duh.



1. a day fixed by law or custom on which ordinary business is suspended in commemoration of some event or in honor of some person.

Thank you dictionary.com

Clearly, Valentine’s Day is not a real holiday. So, what’s with all the hype?

It sells.

Love sells. The *anti-dote* to loneliness sells. Weddings sell, babies sell – it’s all about the money. When will people understand that by its pure nature, capitalism is not sentimental, that is, of course, unless sentiment sells?

I don’t hate love. As a matter of fact, I’m a total sucker for it. You just have to suck me in first (and that’s the challenging part, my dears). I don’t hate people who are in love. Although, most of the time, I do find them quite annoying and stupid. But, I know they can’t help it. Hell, I’m one of the worst “in-love-crazies” I know.  I think the next time I find myself falling in love, I’ll notify the IBRO (International Brain Research Organization) to see if they can track exactly HOW logic is completely turned off when love floods into the brain. I know it happens, and have formulated my own detailed hypothesis with supporting field notes to submit to them in an effort to figure out this whole love mess, Lord knows I can’t do it on my own.

Field notes from Personal Love Studies

Unfortunately, many of my first hand accounts were destroyed in the aftermath of the Epic Heartbreak. Every item in my possession that had been touched by the xLover was placed in a box and mailed back to him. This included important documentation for my study. The scraps I have been able to piece together include an excerpt from one of my old journals (January 2008), an excerpt from an old blog post (July 2008),  and a rough sketch of the Logical Thought Capacity vs. Love curve I put together using my personal calculations and Paint.

Ripped out Journal page (January 2008)

This scares me – you know? I mean, I didn’t expect this from you or me – least of all me. I had the cool, calculated logic, expressed with the most jaded and caustic vocabulary available in the English language. It gave me a false sense of control – control over my mind, my body, my heart. When did I lose that control? How did I lose it? …. I don’t know if I lose my ABILITY or my DESIRE to think through things sensibly when you are near. I watch as my articulation fails me and I focus on the curve of your mouth….and for a moment, that is all there is for me.

i believe in love (July 2008)

I believe in the “kiss-until-your-lips-are-chapped-love” that transforms into “talk-until-you-lose-your-voice-or-fall-asleep-or-run-out-of-phone-battery-every-night kind of love.”

I believe in the “let’s just stay in tonight with Chinese food,” know each other’s coffee orders (and that you can’t drink yours until it cools to the perfect temperature), wake you up in the middle of the night to tell you about my bad dream/good dream/tummy ache, take care of each other when one of us is sick, fight over everything but stay mad over nothing, I can look you in the eye and see my future kind of love.

I believe in the I-cook-you-clean, thanks for taking the trash out because I hate doing it, let’s just accept that we will always fight over the covers, hold my hand when we are walking together, make me melt with every kiss, can’t decide on one song to be “our song,” maybe we should try raising a puppy together kind of love.

I believe in love that defies the odds of increasing divorce rates/statistics proving high children of divorced parents are likely to divorce rates/arguments that prove all guys have biologically-implanted tendencies to cheat and most of them will in some way or another. I believe in the love that reflects and refracts a divine love straight from the heavens, always loyal, always true, trusting, patient, gentle and kind; a love that is a mirror on this earth showing the face of God himself.

I believe in a beautiful love that your every day ordinary schmuck can unknowingly stumble upon.

Sketch of Logical Thought Capacity vs. Love Curve:

Clearly the above curve shows an inverse mathematical relationship – which, even though I only mastered approximately 71% of Calculus I and II, means that as one goes up, the other goes down. This is a fascinating curve, requiring attention from someone significantly more advanced in math than I am as the inverse relationship actually continues into the zone of NEGATIVE logic.  Thus, if love can go to , there is clearly no measure of just how far irrational and illogical thought can reach.

Haha and I bet you all expected me to write about the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Heart Failure Picture thanks to: http://www.winthrop.org/departments/clinical/cardiology/failure/


About ermodi

i like champagne and nachos. i watch people’s mouths move when they talk to me and judge if they are a good kisser i like to write with fine-tip Sharpies because i think it makes me look confident i bite my nails i think doing the dishes is a very lonely chore i think “autumn” is the prettiest word in the English language. i believe in love – or, at least something that resembles love, but i don’t trust this idea of forever.
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6 Responses to V-Day:Not a Holiday

  1. Does this mean it’s too late to say Happy Valentines day?

  2. Pingback: Leader of the Lonely Hearts Club | My Blog

  3. Pingback: Leader of the Lonely Hearts Club | img7.us

  4. Pingback: The Year-Round Valentine - notme2night.com

  5. Pingback: Leader of the Lonely Hearts Club | My Blog

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