ManHating A Behind The Scenes Sneak Peek

Monday afternoon – it starts. The story you are about to hear is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. Well, my name wasn’t changed…obviously…

Madonna [1:53 PM]: men are shady

Uh-oh…she had started dating a good looking foreign doctor recently. What’s going on???

Maureen [1:55 PM]: why do you say that? problems with the good doctor?

Madonna [1:55 PM]: so i just find out from Dr. Guy that he is having relationship turmoil issues with a girl he was with once and can’t live without because he loves her. HELLO! i thought we talked about this the first day. honestly I’m done

There really isn’t a good response to that – so, I say…

Maureen [1:56 PM]: wow

I can see Madonna typing furiously away. I know what comes next is bound to be straight from her heart.

Madonna [1:56 PM]: i chose to live without men. here i am honestly falling for him. while he has some other person. i guess honesty isn’t important to him. I hadn’t heard from him in two days so i sent him a text and asked if he was okay. that’s when he said he was in emotional turmoil. and then he sent me the text about his ex. he wouldn’t return my calls. i literally started changing and believing i was in a relationship without him stating it.

Oh no…classic error!!!

Maureen [2:01 PM]: ughhhh. I am so sorry!

Madonna [2:01 PM]: i jumped off that relationship cliff and completely forgot to pack my parachute

Perfect visual! Madonna nailed it! That is exactly what happens! Love and relationships can be like free falling, but you can only fall so far before you reach back for the parachute strings….and when those strings are not there, well, there are few things worse than that….

I default to a solid man-hater comment.

Maureen [2:04 PM]: that sucks so much. investing in guys is such a freaking risk – you never know what you’ll get with them!

And Madonna throws back one of the most common coping mechanisms

Madonna [2:05 PM]: honestly i just want to go home…eat a gallon of ice cream…and watch sex and the city.

Maureen [2:05 PM]: haha – yeah, I’ve been there too

But she dwells only momentarily…..and boldly states

Madonna [2:06 PM]: whatever life is to short to cry over men

I stick him with one more man-hater thorn and then give her a little pearl of my own:

Maureen [2:06 PM]: no, this guy couldn’t have been worth it. he sounds like a total hack. Write on a post-it note “I will no longer consider dating emotionally unavailable men” and stick it to your bathroom mirror – there’s a daily affirmation for ya!

There’s a daily affirmation for ya!

Yeah, we all need our little affirmations. I like writing mine in dry erase marker on the bathroom mirror – post it notes get a little soggy and cluttered, especially with how many affirmations I have…

I will no longer consider dating emotionally unavailable men. I will take relationships at face value and not commit until I’m committed to. I will always believe in love, but hold it as the far off ideal that it is, instead of something I might scrape up off a bar stool. I will not listen to Taylor Swift. I will not read anything written by Nicholas Sparks – especially this book. I will not confuse sex with love. I will neither dwell in past heartbreaks, nor will I keep making the same mistakes over and over and over again.


About ermodi

i like champagne and nachos. i watch people’s mouths move when they talk to me and judge if they are a good kisser i like to write with fine-tip Sharpies because i think it makes me look confident i bite my nails i think doing the dishes is a very lonely chore i think “autumn” is the prettiest word in the English language. i believe in love – or, at least something that resembles love, but i don’t trust this idea of forever.
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9 Responses to ManHating A Behind The Scenes Sneak Peek

  1. Madonna says:

    So to add to story I did what any well trained nurse would do and i went back to the situation in hopes of helping to rekindle a broken heart and hope that love may find a way….

    Dr Guy: know that I’ll be your best friend always no matter what.

    THE FRIEND ZONE!!! Honestly what am i suppose to think of this?

    Madonna: I dont want to add to your turmoil but I wish u had told me at the beginning…I felt a bit led on and really started feeling strongly about you 😦

    Dr Guy: Tell u what? That I can’t get over an x? That’s pathetic that I cant

    So is the story that i have so often been on the other side. I can tell you that my last relationship was filled with never ending denial. Or should i say all my real past relationships!! Yes you can call me crazy but when does pretending that a relationship never ended really start making you into the crazy ex….and why is it that my ex’s never held on like he is with this one girl.

    I ask you….do i stay in the friend zone in hopes that maybe the right time may come later on like the classic Monica and Chandler epiosodes in friends or do i think like Samatha in Sex and the City and find a brand new pony to ride.

    This dating and timing thing is exhausting and no I’m not worried about my biological clock ticking away….I’m just in need of someone to come home to and make me feel like I’m loved.

    Marilyn Monroe: “A career is wonderful, but you can’t curl up with it on a cold night!”

    I’m turning 26 this summer and honestly I’ve done the party scene!! I’m done!! So if Mr. Right is out there let it be known that from now on any guy i meet will automatically find himself in the “Friend Zone” bc time doesnt control me. I control time and if my heart choses to fall it will fall a million times more but at least I wont be put in the friend zone before you are!!

  2. Adam says:

    Does it suck? Yup! But it is also something to be breathed in deeply and then exhaled. Fuck it. There’s time. There’s life. Relax into it. Don’t sit in a state you aren’t happy with. If friend zone isn’t where ya want, don’t. That’s fine too. Just don’t stress out over it because all that does it make every choice seem like the wrong one.

  3. Madonna says:

    Adam – stressing out about it only makes me reflect and realize that the wrong one seems to keep finding me. When do you know its the right one….is it when I reach back for the string on my parachute and realize that I stop falling and now I’m gliding?

    Its not the fact that the “Friend zone” isnt where i want to be its the fact that anytime something unexpectedly happens my heart starts racing before the gun fire shoot has even shot off. How do i start as friends and let gravity glide me through it?

  4. Adam says:

    You don’t know. You never know. I was married for 8 yrs. Thought I knew. Obviously I was wrong.


    It all comes back to learning to relax. Take what you have and don’t wish it was something it isn’t. Accept it for what it is and cherish it for that. And when you find something else, cherish that for what it is. Not for what it might be or what you want it to be but for what it is.

    And you might never know if you were wrong the whole time. You might never know if you were right. How do you let gravity guide you through? By learning to not fight it or force it and just let it be. Everything has a shape. And that’s all right, too. The universe is what it is. Smashing your head against a wall doesn’t tend to hurt the wall.

  5. T says:

    Friend zone doesn’t sound cool, to me, because of the little annoying fact that friends typically don’t hold back when it comes to sharing important personal details. I have many male friends. I know who they like, who they don’t, and which ones can’t forget an ex.

    Dr. Guy sounds like he enjoyed your company as an ego stoke, but he just wasn’t all that into you.

  6. We all have been there unfortunately. My motto is to always keep the heart open, but let the mind manage the valves.

  7. Nelieta says:

    This is a tough one. I guess you will never know if it is the right one or not. It always feels right but most of the time things change. It is hard work to make a relationship successful. Sometimes I think people give up too quickly.

  8. WoW — GREAT POST! Love it!!

    I agree with Adam and T’s comments.

    My therapist gave me a challenge last time I was in the dating scene: On the very first date I was supposed to tell my date that I’m looking for a monogamous, committed, intimate partner and ask him what he’s looking for also. I thought that was a CRAZY idea and the guy would run out the the room to save his life — haha!

    But, I decided to try it and you know what this guy’s response was? He said, “That’s what I’m looking for too!” As it turns out, we’ve been together for almost 3 years now.

    Just saying if you’d had that conversation with Dr. Guy on your first date I bet you would have gotten a clue about this situation …

    That’s my two-cents worth.

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