No Year’s Resolution

At the end of a long December, there’s one phrase I hear every year as the clock strike’s midnight: “May this one be better than the last.”

This New Year’s Eve, I looked around the crowded room (um – am I sounding like a certain Counting Crows song to anyone else?) yes. anyway. focus. I looked around the room and noticed some skulls:

I was in a cantina.

I looked over my shoulder and observed a very excited crowd of people surrounding me, one man drunkenly leaning so far over the back of my bar-stool, I thought he was going to pop my personal bubble. I’m not sure if he was really so drunk he couldn’t support himself or if he was trying for the best vantage point to keep an eye on his date’s grossly over-exposed bosom. I guess it doesn’t make much of a difference.

Each individual conversation muddled together into a roar, but if you took a moment to dissect the cliques you could hear they were all saying the same thing, they were all crying for a better time in 2012 than they had in 2011. I was overwhelmed with my own inability to relate.

Maybe it’s that my 2011 wasn’t too bad. Or maybe I just take for granted the fact that there are lots of good things coming my way in 2012 – either way, I couldn’t add my own desperate cry for a better year to the mass plea. It was 3 minutes to midnight – everyone around me was resolving to do something. And I was drawing a blank. I turned to my $10 glass of pink sparkling champagne for inspiration.

Nada.

I’ve made New Year’s Resolutions in the past – and usually enjoyed my attempts to make good on them. Still, I couldn’t think of anything for this year.

The problem is, I’m happy.

Not manically happy (all the time), but I’m satisfied.

I don’t want to resolve to change anything about me. Except for my nose. Other than that though, I like me. Just as I am. I don’t want to nit-pick at myself to change shit because I feel like all of my vices and virtues are in place for a reason. Eh, I guess I could swear less….but really, I embrace my crazy.  And it’s taken me a really long time to truly be ok with myself.

It’s ok that I like watching crap television shows like Grey’s Anatomy, The Biggest Loser, and The Bachelorette.

It’s ok that I sometimes read “kids books” like The Hunger Games.

It’s ok that I sometimes drink too much and sometimes blow too much money on frivolous spa treatments and sometimes show up late to things.

It’s ok that I let the gas light come on in the car before I even consider filling up with gas – that’s what the light is for!

It’s ok that I hit the snooze button 8 times every morning and sometimes eat expired yogurt for dinner.

It’s ok that I don’t always do my dishes right away and I leave clean clothes in the dryer and take them out as I need them and that I don’t make my bed in the morning.

It’s probably not ok that sometimes I don’t floss….hmmm I should work on that one.

But it is ok that I’m loud and silly and sometimes awkward and sometimes completely oblivious to social taboos or fashion standards.

It’s ok that I don’t know exactly where my life is going all the time….like right now. No freaking clue.

It’s ok that I haven’t sent my Christmas cards out yet…shit, that’s probably not ok either, actually. *Note to self – write Christmas cards and floss twice a day.

It’s ok that I sometimes have nuclear-emotional meltdowns.

It’s ok that I don’t always know the right thing to say.

It’s ok that I can’t sing and I can’t dance and I can’t play guitar.

It’s ok that I cry in movies and during those ASPCA commercials. It’s ok that I cry when I’m mad. And when I’m happy. And just for the hell of it.

It’s ok that I have a really really really hard time saying “no” to people.

It’s ok that I have 49 pairs of shoes.

It’s ok that I sometimes skip church – at least I hope that’s ok….

It’s ok to not have any real resolutions for the 2012.

And it is most definitely ok to wear unreasonable shoes, if they are banging!

Happy New Year, Everyone! May this one be better than the last!

*PS – I also gotta stop falling asleep wearing eye-makeup.

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About ermodi

i like champagne and nachos. i watch people’s mouths move when they talk to me and judge if they are a good kisser i like to write with fine-tip Sharpies because i think it makes me look confident i bite my nails i think doing the dishes is a very lonely chore i think “autumn” is the prettiest word in the English language. i believe in love – or, at least something that resembles love, but i don’t trust this idea of forever.
This entry was posted in Advice of the Solicited and Un Kind, Featured, Hope Chest and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to No Year’s Resolution

  1. jan says:

    Ah such a smile you brought to my face…thank you. All those things are perfectly okay….I’d be in real trouble if not.

  2. Hi Maureen:
    I know I know. Been awhile since I’ve visited here. Like you, I don’t make resolutions. Why do so when many of them fail after some time? If the purpose of life is to look for joy why do we set ourselves up for disappointment when we don’t meet our expectations?

    Happy New Year, Maureen!

    Chris

  3. Happy New Year!

    It is more than ok that you were those banging shoes! Screw the Christmas cards! … Maybe give up the bachelorette? Sorry it is just really bad….

  4. Happy New Year, Erin! Get a water-pik — you will not have to floss anymore! You’ll love it and you’ll have one more thing to be totally O.K. about at the end of this year! XOXO

  5. Luchi Smiles says:

    It’s O.K that you are just You!, happy new year to you 🙂

  6. Bongo says:

    Hah I don’t make resolutions either..life changes to much to make promises just to break them..it’s ok..to just be ok for the moment…Happy New year….As always…XOXOXOXOXO

  7. Pamela says:

    Hilarious and lovely. It’s wonderful to be happy with yourself and where you are in life! xo

  8. Lynne Watts says:

    Clever…. you make me smile. I hate to floss too and I gave up on Christmas cards years ago, although I do think it might be fun to send them out in July sometimes. They could be either belated or even better, extra early.

  9. T says:

    i didn’t send cards either. get a Sonicare toothbrush to minimize the need for regular flossing! i go to sleep with makeup on all the time, helps achieve that bedhead look! when can we hang out in 2012?

  10. Amy says:

    great post! I am in total agreement…It is okay

    I made no resolutions this year either…

    Happy New Year!

  11. sukanya says:

    and its supremely OK, infact collossally fine that you have embraced yourself for who you are. You go girl! thanks for bringing up the darn floss. I need to do that too!

  12. Hi!!!!! Thank you so much for the awesome comment you left on my blog!!!! You’re awesome! You made my whole day!!!

    Congrats on the Ragnar! I wanted to do it soooooooo bad. I’ve been stalking peoples blog posts and YouTube videos about it. It looks like it was such a great race!!!!

    Oh and…I too watch crap television (just watched me some Grey’s last night) and I’m currently reading the Hunger Games. Haha.
    Fashion standards also escaped me a long time ago!

    Cheers!

  13. Finally got here and thoroughly enjoyed this post! I’m done with resolutions too – got my Christmas cards out on time…so that leaves me with the floss too! Have a wonderful year! ?

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