The Year-Round Valentine

Last year, I attacked the misnomer of Valentine’s Day being called a “holiday” – I think I proved my point: it’s not a real holiday.

This year, I walked the line between V-Day love, hate and indifference….

I tend not to have very strong feelings about Valentine’s Day. While it has a very interesting history full of drunken naked men whipping drunken naked women with animal skins grrrr baby grrrr, today it’s just another Hallmark holiday designed to get consumers in stores buying shit. Lame.

I don’t like cliches – and Valentine’s Day is full of them. Roses? Bah – there are better flowers out there, like the awesome purple and pink tulips sent to me by “My Not So Secret Admirer.”


The card said, “Every beautiful girl deserves flowers on Valentine’s Day. Love, your not so secret admirer.”

It took me the whole day and numerous text messages to figure out the identity of my “not so secret admirer.” After systematically working my way through my phone ruling out boy after boy, I was slowly entering panic mode – did one of my readers from my dating column figure out my address? It was certainly someone who read my column  and knew I didn’t want roses. Someone who knew my favorite color is purple…Did I have a real stalker? Might I need to upgrade the beagle to a bigger dog? A Doberman, perhaps? That’s when I got the phone call. My admirer was unmasked before me, revealing my baby sister St. Molly.

Lady’s and Gentlemen, my Valentine’s Day stalker:

Looks like I won’t be needing that Doberman after all.

Molly and I will probably always send each other flowers on Valentine’s Day. Sure, we’re feeding into the consumerism issue that we hate, but we’re not pure hipster enough to take a real stand against it and risk one of us not getting flowers. In this case, I’m happily part of the problem. As long as the flowers are never roses.

Speaking of flowers – I was given another bouquet by my friend John. Even though his flowers contained some sticky sweet pink roses (cliche alert!) I was very appreciative that he was willing to fight two men at the Branford Big Y for the last remaining bouquet of flowers to bring me even though I’m not his girlfriend, nor will I ever be. John was my second valentine this year (I had three total) and 1/3 of my valentine dinner jamboree which resulted in this awesome interview.

It was great to stay in and make valentines dinner with John and Ben. I don’t know why Tuesday February 14th was any different from Tuesday February 7th, but something about Valentine’s Day puts me in the mood to not be alone. I’m grateful for friends who are in the same boat – that way, we can plan on being not alone together.


Nothing makes me hate Valentine’s Day more than all the humble brags you see on Facebook. “My boyfriend bought me cliched roses and chocolates and we’re going out to a cliched dinner date in which there might just be an engagement ring in the molten lava chocolate cake, statistically speaking. I am so in love. Happy face emoticon.”

If you’re single, you might as well just stay off Facebook for the day because sometimes people make it really freaking hard to be happy for them! Plus, Facebook is scientifically proven to depress you. Now, I don’t like that article I just linked to because people will think you’re just jealous if other people’s happiness on Facebook makes you depressed. I don’t have a problem with other people being happy – I think Facebook depresses you because it has become a culture of people on narcissistic pedestals. Don’t believe me? Check out my page – there’s a ton of pictures of me on it! And in each one, I look good (mostly) just in case my Ex somehow circumnavigates my privacy settings which have blocked him and decides to check me out. I’m human and totally vulnerable to Social-Media-Narcissism-Disease. Hell, I blog. Enough said.

Anyway, if you are a Valentine’s Day hater, I suggest grabbing a bowl of these refreshingly honest sugar hearts before scrolling through pictures of my Real Valentines for 2012 (photo stolen from @TWM71’s Twitter feed – if you Tweet and you don’t follow him, you’re missing out on a lot of cool brain juices!)

Valentine 1. For Mr. Right

Valentine 2. For Mr. Wrong

Valentine 3. For Mr. Right Now

Valentine 4. For Mr. Coulda-Woulda-Shoulda

And since if girls don’t send each other valentines on this special day, many of us wouldn’t get a damned thing…

Valentine 5. For The Single Lady (in her late 20’s, with a great career….and a cat)

Valentine 6. For THAT Friend (we all have one)


The first comment I got on my Valentine’s Day dating column put me off. I felt that the lady commenting was insinuating that I created V-Day drama in the name of a story! Me? Create drama? Le gasp! Never! Initially, I wanted to snap back to her snarky remark with a reply along the lines of:

Of course my goal was to be someone (anyone’s) Valentine this year! Isn’t that what we all want? To go to bed on February 14th knowing that someone loves us enough to call us their own special Valentine? I can’t even begin to explain my disappointment in another year sans romance on this oh-so-special day!

Luckily, I had some errands to run and when I came back was able to compose a reply that wasn’t dripping with sarcasm. I told her:

Hi Janell,
As much as I love my dear friend-boys, I was not interested in being anyone’s romantic valentine. I was very interested in finding out why we all felt the need to not be alone on Tuesday February 14th when none of us minded being alone on Monday the 13th. Please don’t think I tricked the fellows, I’m a full disclosure kinda girl and asked for their consent prior to the interview-date. Let’s just say no egos were bruised in the writing of this article. The guys were actually really excited about it!


Sure, romance is great. Love rocks my socks off. But, love doesn’t mean anything more on a bitterly cold day in winter than it does on a hot summer night in August. There are 365.25 days in a year for us to love each other. Why only focus on one? Because that’s when the stores are all pink and red and chocolate-covered strawberries? Bah.

In 2012, I choose love. I choose to love and to be loved (and to be loved as often as possible, please!)

Love and friendship and passion every day!

Valentine’s Day, every day!

Or at least as long as those 75% off clearance heart-shaped boxes of chocolates last….



About ermodi

i like champagne and nachos. i watch people’s mouths move when they talk to me and judge if they are a good kisser i like to write with fine-tip Sharpies because i think it makes me look confident i bite my nails i think doing the dishes is a very lonely chore i think “autumn” is the prettiest word in the English language. i believe in love – or, at least something that resembles love, but i don’t trust this idea of forever.
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5 Responses to The Year-Round Valentine

  1. I’m not a fan of Valentine’s Day – having been single for years I know how the lack of having a Valentine feels. When I did get married (finally!) it wasn’t high on my list of special days. Too much of hype for my liking.
    As usual, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post ?

  2. T says:

    i love the childless womb valentine. i laughed, hard, into the ear of my actual valentine.

    we have always kept valentine’s day simple. homemade steak, maybe some wine, maybe a long dog walk. romance doesn’t come in a box of chocolates…
    … it comes in a box that is Tiffany Blue, right?

  3. Hi, Erin Maureen! ~

    I love Valentine’s Day even though my BF didn’t buy me anything — haha!

    I’m confused by the many V-day detractors who use this argument: “…love doesn’t mean anything more on a bitterly cold day in winter than it does on a hot summer night in August. There are 365.25 days in a year for us to love each other. Why only focus on one?”

    Who ever said that Valentine’s Day is about taking love away from any other day of the year? If you celebrate being born on your birthday, then do you not get to be happy you were born on every other day?

    I celebrate L-O-V-E every day of the year, but I usually save the pink crepe paper and red glitter for Valentine’s Day 😉

  4. Ermodi says:

    Thanks for your comments, ladies!

    Corinne – I agree with you on the hype. Way too much! yuck.

    T – keep holding out for that little blue box of romance 😉 Chocolates are not love. Ice cream isn’t love….Diamonds just might be as good as it gets hahaha

    Linda – I agree with you, that Valentine’s Day doesn’t take love away from any of the other days of the year, but I think the hype that sells it screams to the masses, “You MUST show your love to one another TODAY.” It makes a spontaneous romantic outburst much more….challenging?

  5. sukanya says:

    stopping by after all long time…..agree, totally agree with you. unecessary hype. it is nothing but commercialization, so some goons can rip off those who are suckers for love and all things related to love.

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