5 Good, Bad and Ugly Reasons Why I Did Not Write for 5 Weeks

This is my 100th blog post. It seems fitting that it would be a landmark.

I just moved back home to Colorado Springs. Not just home, but REALLY home. Like my mom is my new roommate and we are actually sharing a room until my little brother graduates from high school, moves into a dorm, and I cannibalize his room kinda home. And you know what? It is really great.

My little sister is also home with my 2 year old nephew – they each have their own rooms, but they were here first and my little sister’s room is technically the laundry room, so sharing the master bedroom with Ma isn’t too shabby.

The house is full. No, scratch that, the house is over-flowing. There are people everywhere – all the time. We trip over each other. It sounds like we’re always yelling, but that’s because there are always at least three separate conversations going on at once and a beagle to talk over. We can eat a dozen eggs in a sitting and finding a clean towel is almost impossible. We go through more toilet paper in a week than I ever went through in a month living by myself. There is always dirty laundry in the hamper and dishes parading into the sink. We buy wine by the box for crying out loud!

Sibling rivalry is at an all time high – I taught my nephew to call me “Aunt Favorite” and my baby sister refuses to come home for her summer vacation – something about needing to study for the MCAT, so she’s staying in Spokane.  Still, in spite of the pandemonium, I needed to move home.

My obvious reason for moving home is because I recently lost my job with the Coast Guard. You don’t hear many people talk about getting fired from the military – but it happens. Now, I left in good standing. My discharge is honorable and I have nothing derogatory in my record. I was simply not picked up for promotion – twice. I could (and will) write a book on this experience, but I’ll let it stand now with the lesson learned: Be careful who you piss off – especially if they write your evaluation reports.

But I have many other reasons for moving home.

1. I needed more noise.

I needed the chaos. It is good for my soul.

My life in Connecticut was neat – mostly under control – and never anything I couldn’t clean up myself. I had a place for everything in my home and could regain a sense of peace by putting everything away or re-organizing my linen closet. I had a close group of friends, lovely neighbors and a lover (or two). I wrote a dating column, saw my hair stylist on a semi-regular basis and took care of myself. Still, independence can be lonely and there were times when all the peace and quiet got me down.

2. I have some dreams.

And I’d like to chase them down. I want to be a veterinarian. Unfortunately, working 50+ hours a week and living alone wasn’t a lifestyle that exactly lent itself to all of the prep work I need to do to be a strong candidate for a DVM program. Moving back home is a huge privilege that provides me with the opportunity to work part time and spend time volunteering with the local animal shelter, spay/neuter clinic and interning with a veterinarian.

3. Home needs some help.

A few people warned me about moving back home. They told me to expect that everyone there stayed the same and that they would have a hard time accepting the fact that I’d drastically changed over the course of the past 10 years living away from home. Luckily (or unluckily) everyone back home changed too. Not just little changes like my parents renting out my bedroom after I left for college, but really big changes. Home was shattered into millions of little pieces with my parents’ divorce in 2007 and my father’s unexpected death in 2008. In the past 5 years, I’ve memorized 5 different addresses to be my “home address.” One sister left for college, one sister got married and divorced and the baby brother grew a beard for some unknown reason. It is actually a bigger adjustment for me to accept my new home in my new neighborhood than for home to accept the new me. But I’m here now, and doing my part to put all the pieces of the beautiful mosaic of our lives in the right places.

4. I have some soul-searching to do

Adapting to life outside the military isn’t much of an issue for me. I dyed my hair dark brown with neon pink highlights after my last day of work. My nails are painted bright blue and I am very seriously considering a nose ring. Still, coming to terms with this idea of “failing” the Coast Guard was tough for me. I need some time to really look into myself and ignite the embers glowing in my heart. I need to feel on fire for life again. I need to be in a safe place to nurture the part of me I was told didn’t fit the mold. That’s my favorite part.

5. Pet Care

I have a dog and a cat and a lot of adventures planned. Not worrying about finding quality pet care is a blessing!

So, I’m back home and back online.

And the blogging will continue.

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About ermodi

i like champagne and nachos. i watch people’s mouths move when they talk to me and judge if they are a good kisser i like to write with fine-tip Sharpies because i think it makes me look confident i bite my nails i think doing the dishes is a very lonely chore i think “autumn” is the prettiest word in the English language. i believe in love – or, at least something that resembles love, but i don’t trust this idea of forever.
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9 Responses to 5 Good, Bad and Ugly Reasons Why I Did Not Write for 5 Weeks

  1. I hope this new chapter in your life is rewarding and what you are looking for. You are right, most think your job is safe in the military but as MANY people found out, across all branches this year…that is not true anymore.

  2. Erik says:

    If you have dreams, I believe it is a blessing to lose the safe and secure life of the military-it’s just too comfortable for most people to get out and follow their passion. There will always be a safe job out there if responsibilities demand it (family, bills), so it only makes sense to go for what you love while you have the freedom to do so. NYC misses you.

  3. Patty says:

    It sounds like you are starting an incredible adventure! My experiences with getting passed up for career advancement always turned out for the best. Just know there is something more rewarding out there for you. Enjoy your new path!

  4. Bongo says:

    Welcome back sweet thing I have missed you …As always…XOXOXOXOX

  5. Jan says:

    What a wonderfully positive attitude you have. You inspire me to look at things in a different light. I hope that your new adventures teach you much and that you can enjoy the lessons….<3<3<3

  6. T says:

    Luck is funny – way to embrace it all. I am happy for you and über jealous of pink highlights!!

  7. Sometimes, we find ourselves taking a path in life that truly we don’t understand. We are all set, expecting our life to go one way or another, and then ‘blam’! everything changes. Just as in your life…not being promoted is not the end of the world for you…one door may have closed in your story of life, but another has opened. Now it is up to you to do with it what you will. Take yourself to imaginative heights! Someday, you may go back and visit that military person that you pissed off and tell him what a favor he did for you. That would be icing on the cake, no?

  8. Hi, Erin! ~

    I was never actually ‘in’ the military but I was a military wife and I can see how you might not fit the mold — hah! Good Girl, I say!!! I find it very endearing and I hope you don’t beat yourself up too badly about it ;-x

    Looking forward to reading about your new & exciting adventures!!!

  9. Pingback: Domestica - notme2night.com

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