Did you know there was a website called www.howtobakeapotato.com ?
Can you believe I found it one night because I seriously didn’t know how to bake a potato and was looking for instructions on the Internet?
AND CAN YOU BELIEVE IT TAKES AN HOUR TO BAKE A POTATO!?
Now, contrary to the accusations of various ex-love interests and my friend Nicole, I have always considered myself to be quite a Domestic Diva. I think I have a real knack for cooking – and recently developed the ability to clean up after myself (not just use the “stuff and hide and sanitize” technique of my messy past.)
Seriously, I am 27 now. I might be living with my mom, but I am still a real grown up. I pay taxes and do occasional laundry. I cry at sentimental movies and use an anti-aging cream on my face at night. I am good at being all womanly.
Still, my potato crisis had me seriously questioning my culinary skill.
If I didn’t know how to bake a potato, did that make me a failure of sorts?
I would argue to the contrary; I may actually have some natural inclination toward cooking, displaying an intrinsic understanding of certain flavors that go together – think Beethoven and the piano except for with mixing food stuffs – but admittedly, I am missing a few of the basic steps.
I can invent a great cheese dip – MacGyver style with only what’s in my kitchen – and bake it in a bell pepper.
I can make my own pasta and infuse it with spinach or carrot puree.
Brownies from scratch? No problem!
I’m the queen of pancakes – dulce de leche and apple pancakes, cinnamon granola spice pancakes, marion berry and white chocolate pancakes, nutella-banana-nut pancakes – and I’m just getting started! I make authentico fish tacos and guacamole – my own fresh salsa and tortillas.
I love making cupcakes – I just hate scooping the batter neatly into the cups and then letting them cool and frosting them. Usually, I’m running late, and I frost them in the pan, right after I pull them out of the oven and rush them to the party with hot mitts on.
Look at me! A modern day Betty Crocker!
But I have to search the internet for instructions on baking a potato!? It doesn’t make sense!
I think I just started to fly around the kitchen before I learned how to crawl. I just got ahead of myself. Unfortunately, I might be at the point where it is just too boring to learn the basics of cooking – trivial things like how to make meatloaf or what exactly goes into Shepard’s Pie or how to bake beans to make them “baked beans,” just don’t appeal to me, I never learned how to do it and don’t have the attention span to do so now. I’m too far past it.
Just like the 16 cook books I have – I find them quite useful in adding color to my counter top, but haven’t even cracked the bindings in some of them!
Now, I am not opposed to looking through cookbooks for inspiration and pretty pictures, but can’t bring myself to actually follow them. I think it’s because I hate being told what to do just as much as I hate being told how to do something! Which is probably why I didn’t last too long in the military….