Why He Hasn’t Called…

Every day, women ask their friends, girlfriends, cats, and sunken-eyed-red-nosed-disappointed selves “WHY HASN’T HE CALLED ME!?”

There are millions of answers to this question – and yet, no answer that can make you feel anything but rejected, dejected and ugly….it is one of the most special kind of relationship enigmas that always leaves you wondering if you are that hard to love.

Here’s the quick and dirty truth: he hasn’t called because he doesn’t like you enough. Let this not take any toll on your self-worth. You’re precious in your own uniquely beautiful, intelligent and charming way.  For some reason, he’s not in a place to love and appreciate you. Maybe he’s married. Maybe he’s depressed. Maybe he got in an accident and is in a coma, suspended between dreams of you and the unattainable reality of being with you right at this very moment. Maybe you’re not actually his “type.” No matter what the reason, the reality is he isn’t calling. File him under “dead” and keep your eyes open for the next guy to come along. The guy who will dial your number and woo the ever living crap out of you.

That’s my party line and I’m sticking to it…at least in theory.

But there is also this new gray area….

He hasn’t called because he is texting instead.


Le sigh – who remembers the days when a telephone was used to TALK to the person on the other end of the line? Who remembers what it was like to hear someone’s voice when you were “conversing” – anyone born in the 90’s need not raise their hand and reminisce, you just don’t get it…

Maybe I’ve been driving around blasting Sister Christian, I Would Do Anything For Love, Like A Prayer and Forever Your Girla little too much lately. Maybe I’m longing for simple love emotions in the form of monster ballads, rather than ermoji emoticons. Maybe that is a thing of the past, best left in the past, and I need to get with the new trends of #romance, #sex and #HappilyEverAfter.

I’m not ready to admit to that yet. Call me a typewriter in an iPad world, call me an Atari trying to keep up with XBox Live, call me 35mm of film in the digital age, or just call me a hopeless spinster and lock me away in the attic. I remain unimpressed with text to text flirtation tactics.

While I do not oppose texting (except for when you are driving, or on a date with someone, or in any face-to-face social situation…) I don’t get the same butterflies in my stomach seeing a text from a cute boy as I used to when my phone rang in that 3 day window of “eeee he asked for my number!”

Essentially, when a dude asks for my number and texts me instead of calling to set up a date, I place him in one of the following categories:

A) Lazy

B) Uninterested

C) Socially Inept

D) Young and Dumb

I assume most guys are in Category B – Uninterested. Reference previous advice to file them under “dead” and move on. I wish I did this. I usually put them into one of the “forgivable” categories (A, C, D) and give them a chance.

Since the title of my blog is Singletonista, I am sure you can tell how well this has worked out for me in the past….ha.

Either way, a texter really should just be filed under “dead.” Because dating isn’t about doing and saying the right things. It is about finding the right person. And I can guarentee one thing, my “Mr. Right” would pick up his phone and call.

Which brings me to my New Year’s Resolution.

Last year, I resolved to use exact change. I still take the extra time to count out Pennies, Nickles and Dimes, thus renewing my faith in my ability to maintain a New Year’s Resolution. This year, I am resolving to not date any young, immature, lazy, socially inept man-children parading around as young adults without career paths. It isn’t going to be easy as I am a sucker for boyish charm, but I think I am finally fed up enough to call it quits.

Next Blog Post: Shedding The Title of Mrs. Robinson and Going After The Older Man.

Just kinda old fashioned, I guess…


About ermodi

i like champagne and nachos. i watch people’s mouths move when they talk to me and judge if they are a good kisser i like to write with fine-tip Sharpies because i think it makes me look confident i bite my nails i think doing the dishes is a very lonely chore i think “autumn” is the prettiest word in the English language. i believe in love – or, at least something that resembles love, but i don’t trust this idea of forever.
This entry was posted in Love Advice, Not Falling In Love, SWF Seeking and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Why He Hasn’t Called…

  1. Pamela says:

    So true! I’m with you–if he doesn’t call, he doesn’t like (or love) you enough. Hence, THIS Thanksgiving will be a better one for me :-). The texting instead of calling falls into any of the aforementioned categories. Texting as a way to test the waters because a guy doesn’t have the guts to just pick up the damn phone would fall into the “Socially Inept” category, right? Here’s to having “him” find you. I don’t necessarily buy into the “finding Mr. Right” anymore. Let him do some work ;-). Have a great turkey day and I’m thankful for such great blogging buddies as you!

  2. Patti F says:

    I would put the iconic “LOL” but then while I’m laughing this is really too true to be funny. We are so much in touch and yet out of touch that it isn’t funny. You’ve hit the nail on the head, except for the spinster part. Happy Thanksgiving kiddo, keep believing. I do and we know how out of the dating age I am. :-)) BTW, that Mrs. Robinson thing… as a lover of big cats, cougars in particular… I’m thinking of giving that a try. :-)) Keep writing, love your posts.

  3. wisdomandlife says:

    Ok to play devils advocate here for a moment, Maureen. I wouldn’t says B. If he wasn’t interested clearly he A) wouldn’t have approached you.
    B) He wouldn’t have asked for your number.
    Maybe after asking for your number he didn’t want to come on to strong and maybe he thought texting would show interest but not overbearing interest.

    Ok don’t kill the messenger, Maureen. LoL! Just showing there maybe other possibilities. If it were I I would most assuredly pick up the phone and call. But other people have different approaches. Don’t write someone off because they don’t play the game like you expect. Sometimes those people that color outside the lines are the ones you really want to meet.

    Like I said, don’t kill the messenger.


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