Author Archives: ermodi

About ermodi

i like champagne and nachos. i watch people’s mouths move when they talk to me and judge if they are a good kisser i like to write with fine-tip Sharpies because i think it makes me look confident i bite my nails i think doing the dishes is a very lonely chore i think “autumn” is the prettiest word in the English language. i believe in love – or, at least something that resembles love, but i don’t trust this idea of forever.

Not A Creature is Stirring, Not Even a….DRAT!

“Look, there’s literally a trillion things I’m NOT allergic to, and like ONE thing I am and now you’re telling me that one thing is running around your house?” “Possibly.” “Yeah, I’m literally going to die this Christmas…” “No way … Continue reading

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All Creatures Great and Tolerant

“So, what would you use to sedate a horse for a dental?” My first thought was Butorphanol and Xylazine, but I didn’t want to go for the obvious answer. It couldn’t be that easy. IT FELT LIKE A TRAP! So, I … Continue reading

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I had ONE job.

“I need you to put your hand right here and hold on.” “Hold on to the penis?” “Yes.”   Errrr, maybe I should put this conversation into context before things go any further…. It was 2am and I was standing next … Continue reading

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Finding Nimmo (Or, The Dude For Whom I’m Willing To Smash My Boiler With A Hammer)

For going on 6 years now, it’s just been me and the little furries living the single lady life – which is ever so slightly less glamorous than Ricky Martin promised in the 1998 Grammy Award winning song Livin’ La … Continue reading

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32 Times Around The Sun

Year: noun : the period of about 3651/4 solar days required for one revolution of the earth around the sun; the time required for the apparent sun to return to an arbitrary fixed or moving reference point in the sky. … Continue reading

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Tipping Point

You’ve probably heard that pigs are intelligent animals. They are.  They are clean, easy to train and can be taught to do tricks. Pigs are considered to be as intelligent as a 3 year old child. In intensive pig farming … Continue reading

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An Udder Mystery

I have an exam tomorrow morning worth 18% of my final grade in the Farm Animal course. Clearly, this is the time for me to sit down and update the blog I’ve neglected since JULY. But, I need a study … Continue reading

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Lost In Translation?

Occasionally, I make rather odd requests to my friends, today was no exception: “Ok, I just need you to say, ‘Hi my name is Paul‘ and then ‘Hi, my name is Robbie‘ in your Scottish accent really quick.” “Whaaaa?” “I’m … Continue reading

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The Art of Seduction. Or Something Like That.

I’m not usually one to kiss and tell, but there are times when the telling is so epic, I have to cross that line. This is most definitely one of those times. Single friends, take notes. Handy J has been working … Continue reading

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Just A Quickie

I am giving myself 15 minutes to write this quick catch up post before the lavender scent on my sheets sends me on the midnight express to Snoozeville. Zzzzzzz….8 minutes. I’m giving myself 8 minutes. Even now, my eyes are … Continue reading

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